discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
