I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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