i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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