im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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