I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
only you would photoshop your dick
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
