So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
even my farts smell like vagina
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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