Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
