I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
