you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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