Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
