dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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