You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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