i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
