My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
