Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
