Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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