If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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