"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
