sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
