she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
