I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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