you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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