Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
