my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
