Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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