I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
