Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
