tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
