Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
