You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
