What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
