break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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