i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
where are my eyebrows?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
