wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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