that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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