woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
