mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We had to coat check the pizza.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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