He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
