yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
