i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
FUCK WHALES
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