my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He? As in you personified your dick?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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