What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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