Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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