i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Less talking, more tequila
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
