i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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