So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
