I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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