Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she peed on how many people?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
false alarm, still single
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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