Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
