I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
