girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
