my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
