It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
